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Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. Hosting or travelling three hours to someone else's. Real tree that drops needles or a perfect fake one — the argument every family has already had.
Made for the gap between dinner and the film, when everyone is too full to move but not ready to sleep.
open all your presents on Christmas Eve or wait until Christmas morning?
have snow guaranteed and no family around or no snow and a full house?
give the perfect gift or receive one?
host Christmas dinner or travel three hours to someone else's?
have a real tree that drops needles or a perfect fake one?
eat Christmas dinner every day for a week or never eat it again?
get one expensive present or twenty small ones?
be stuck in an airport on Christmas Eve or get home and be ill all week?
sing carols in public or wear a jumper that plays them?
have Christmas in July or two New Years and no Christmas?
get socks from everyone or get nothing and be told why?
watch the same film every year or never see it again?
do all your shopping in November or all of it on the 24th?
have a quiet Christmas alone or a loud one with difficult relatives?
keep the decorations up until March or take them down on Boxing Day?
get a gift you asked for exactly or one that surprises you completely?
have a white Christmas far from home or a grey one with everyone?
cook the whole dinner or wash up for everyone?
get a handmade gift or an expensive one?
play board games all afternoon or watch films all afternoon?
have crackers with terrible jokes or no crackers and a quiet table?
give gifts anonymously or receive one you can't thank anyone for?
have all the family in one house or see each of them separately?
eat leftovers for a week or throw it all out on the 26th?
do the entire food shop on the 23rd or have it delivered on the 20th with half the items missing?
drive six hours on Christmas Eve with three people arguing or fly an hour and lose your luggage?
wrap every gift beautifully or get them all in bags and start the film earlier?
carve the turkey in front of everyone or make the gravy with nobody watching?
be the one who books the family holiday or the one who cooks on the day?
have a tree so tall it scrapes the ceiling or a small one on a table and more floor space?
get a jumper two sizes too big from someone kind or something perfect from someone who rarely gets it right?
sit next to the relative who talks for hours or next to the one who says nothing at all?
have the neighbours' lights outshine yours every year or have the darkest house on the street and no bills?
host twelve people with one bathroom or be a guest somewhere with rules about shoes?
run out of potatoes or run out of gravy?
do all the wrapping on Christmas Eve at midnight or wrap in October and forget where you hid it?
have a child wake you at four in the morning or have a relative arrive four hours early?
get a gift receipt with everything or never be allowed to return anything?
spend the day in pyjamas at home or dress properly and go somewhere lovely?
have your cooking praised by everyone except one person or criticised by everyone and enjoyed by you?
be responsible for the Christmas quiz or responsible for the drinks all day?
have every card arrive late or send none and explain to everybody?
eat a full roast at two in the afternoon or eat a buffet whenever you like?
have a family tradition nobody enjoys but everyone keeps or drop it and hear about it for years?
get the same gift from two different people or get nothing from someone you bought for?
decorate the whole house in one evening or do a little each day through December?
have a silent night and an empty diary or a packed week and no sleep?
share a bedroom with a cousin or sleep on the sofa under the decorations?
have the heating fail on the coldest day or the oven fail an hour before dinner?
be given a pet as a surprise present or be given a gym membership?
take the photograph every year or be in every photograph and hate them all?
have your gift opened first and admired or opened last and forgotten?
do the washing up alone in peace or do it with four people getting in the way?
have a themed dinner with matching outfits or a normal one with no photographs?
get a homemade card from a child or a very expensive one from a company?
queue for two hours on the high street or wait three weeks for a delivery that may not arrive?
have mince pies you love and nobody else touches or a dessert everyone fights over and you dislike?
be the designated driver on the 24th or the one who cooks breakfast on the 25th?
have a live tree that lasts until February or a fake one you love and never replace?
open a present you already own or open one you cannot identify?
spend Christmas somewhere hot or spend it somewhere freezing with the right people?
be asked to bring a dish you have never made or be asked to bring nothing and feel useless?
have the same music on repeat all day or complete silence from breakfast to bedtime?
get everything on your list and no surprises or one surprise and nothing you asked for?
stay up late assembling something with unclear instructions or get up early and do it badly in front of everyone?
have a crowded kitchen and good conversation or a calm one and the door shut?
be given money in an envelope or be given something chosen with great thought that misses?
keep a tradition from your childhood exactly or invent a new one this year?
host the whole family every year or never host and always travel?
have a tree covered in mismatched ornaments with stories or a colour scheme that actually matches?
eat sprouts to keep the peace or refuse and defend it for an hour?
get the last parking space at the shopping centre or get a seat on the last train home?
be told what everyone wants in advance or guess for all of them?
have the dog eat part of the dinner or have a child unwrap the wrong presents?
watch a film nobody else likes or sit through one you have seen nine times?
do a secret gift exchange with a strict limit or buy properly for everyone and go over budget?
have your name pulled by someone who barely knows you or pull the name of someone impossible to buy for?
be the one who remembers everyone's allergies or the one who forgets and apologises?
have carol singers at the door or have nobody knock all evening?
get the good chair or get first pick of the leftovers?
have all your relatives for one long weekend or one relative for three weeks?
put the decorations up on the first of December or wait until the week before and rush it?
be handed the remote for the whole afternoon or be handed the kitchen and the praise?
have a power cut and candles or a full house and the television on in every room?
get a gift that needs assembly or one that needs batteries you do not have?
have your card fall off the shelf every time the door opens or have no cards on display at all?
go for a long walk after dinner or stay in and fall asleep in the chair?
have the table set properly with crackers and names or eat off laps in front of the fire?
spend the day cooking for people you love or be cooked for by someone who finds it stressful?
be given a jumper you must wear all day or be given a hat you must wear to dinner?
do the big shop with someone indecisive or do it alone at seven in the morning?
have snow on the day and no way to travel or clear roads and grey skies?
get an advent calendar with good chocolate or one with a small gift behind each door?
have a Christmas Eve buffet and a quiet 25th or a quiet Eve and an enormous day?
be asked to say a few words before dinner or be asked to organise the seating plan?
have the leftovers turned into something better or eat the same plate again for three days?
have one enormous family photograph taken every year or none and no record at all?
get a voucher for somewhere you love or cash for half the amount?
be in charge of the music or be in charge of the fire and the kettle?
have a guest who arrives with nothing or one who brings so much there is no room for yours?
Yes, grandparents included.
Any time in December. The hosting questions land hardest on the day itself.
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